Comic book sneak preview!

So I'm starting work on a TOP SECRET totally awesome comic book about a guy named Adam and his journey into becoming a TOTALLY RAD SUPERHERO! Here's the first few pages, tell me what you think!

Super Hero Story

© Andrew Thornhill 2009

INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The room is a mess, laundry strewn about and empty beer cans littering the entire place. A single old wooden boxy TV set is glowing in the corner.

ZOOM INTO TV
On the screen is a female REPORTER for the late night news.

REPORTER: In local news, crime is on a rampant high here in Jingo City, and it seems that local citizens have taken it upon themselves to safeguard the city as vigilante crimefighters. Eyewitness reporter David Aligood has the story. David?

CUT TO BLACK WOMAN ON STREET

BLACK WOMAN: I was being mugged, I didn't know what to do!

INT A DIFFERENT DARK ROOM - NIGHT
This room is huge and pristine. Think marble floors and big columns. An office for a serious business mogul.

PAN ACROSS ROOM, LIGHTS CASCADING THROUGH WINDOW, BIG SCREEN TV ON WALL TO ACROSS THE ROOM TO SEE A SHADOWY FIGURE SITTING IN A BIG CHAIR AT A DESK.

MALE REPORTER (V/O): LaTonya Willingston is an upstanding citizen of Jingo. At the age of 45, she works the graveyard shift at Big Tony's Diner.

LATONYA (V/O): I was walking home from work, through what I thought was a good neighborhood, all of the sudden there were three guys with guns on me, yelling at me to give them my purse and all my money or they gonna shoot me dead where I stand.

CUT TO NEWS REPORT

MALE REPORTER (V/O): That's when something amazing happened.

LATONYA: I was on the ground, covering up my face, crying, praying for help, when all of the sudden, this guy wearing a big coat and goggles shows up with this weird whip thing and starts whoopin' all three of these guys.

MALE REPORTER (V/O): LaTonya says that she was rescued by what many people have been saying is a real life superhero.

LATONYA: He tied all three guys up and gave me all my stuff back! He didn't ask for no money or nothin'!

CUT TO FUZZY IMAGE OF CHARLIE DROPKICK - A SCRUFFY LOOKING NIGHT-VIGILANTE WHO WEILDS A LEAD PIPE AND A SJAMBOK.

MALE REPORTER (V/O): The superhero in question goes by the moniker of "Charlie Dropkick". Unfortunately, we don't know a whole lot about this particular superhero, just that he wears a long brown trenchcoat, aviation goggles and a leather pilot's helmet. But we do know that he is not alone.

CUT TO CAPTAIN FANTASTIC - YOUR TYPICAL HERO, CAPE, SPANDEX, AND ALL THAT.

MALE REPORTER (V/O): This is Captain Fantastic: Jingo City's very own Super Man.

CUT BACK TO OFFICE, A DARK FIGURE IS WATCHING THE NEWS.

CLOSE UP ON FIGURE'S FACE, OLD AND GENUINELY EVIL.

MALE REPORTER (V/O) (CONTINUED): Captain Fantastic's identity is secret, but his good deeds for the city of Jingo and his valor are well known.

INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
There is a person (ADAM) in his late 20's asleep on the couch. The iridescent glow of the TV lights up his figure, sprawled out, beer can still in hand.

MALE REPORTER (V/O) (CONTINUED): When asked about other heroes in the city, Captain Fantastic had this to say:

CAPTAIN FANTASTIC (V/O): As long as they understand that this isn't child's play. Not just every Joe can pull on a costume and decide to fight crime all of a sudden. With great power comes great -

INT DROPKICK'S LAIR - NIGHT.
Charlie's lair is really just a piece of crap apartment on the upper east side. Almost everything in the lair looks like it's been rescued from dumpsters and / or made from cinder blocks and plywood. Duct tape is everywhere. CHARLIE is sitting in an old, ripped up recliner.

CHARLIE turns off his TV set, playing the same broadcast, with a click of a remote. He walks to his action fridge and grabs a box of chinese take out. He sits back in his chair with some chopsticks made from pencils.

CHARLIE: Great power my ass. everyone knows he's just in it for the attention. The guy doesn't even fight crimes! He volunteers for a soup kitchen and stands around making people feel "protected". It's bullshit.

A white rat with black spots, wearing a leather helmet and tiny goggles, scrambles up the side of the recliner, sitting on CHARLIE'S shoulder. CHARLIE turns to look at him, and feeds him a piece of Chinese food.

CHARLIE: See that, Chicklets? Daddy was on TV tonight.

He smiles.


INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - MORNING

The TV is still on, the morning report going on in the background. There is a buzzing sound coming from ADAM'S pocket. He groans and pulls a cell phone from his pocket. The screen shows that his 7:30 alarm is going off. He groans again and slumps into the bathroom, a cascade of beer cans clattering to the ground as he gets off the couch.

INT ADAM'S BATHROOM - MORNING

ADAM is taking a leak, his cell on the sink starts to buzz. He picks it up and opens it. The caller ID says "WORK". He doesn't look too happy, but he answers.

ADAM: Hello?

INT BIG TONY'S DINER - MORNING

BIG TONY, who looks like you'd think a guy named Big Tony would look, is on the Diner's phone behind the counter.

BIG TONY: Hey! Adam! My best buddy! My friend! Pal! What'cha up to, man?

INT ADAM'S KITCHEN - MORNING

ADAM is pouring a cup of coffee.

ADAM: Hey Big Tony... I'm getting ready to come in... I'm not late, am I?

INT DINER - MORNING

BIG TONY: Late? You? Never, kid. A bit of a slob, yeah, but never late.

INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - MORNING

ADAM is now sipping his coffee, holding onto the cell with his shoulder.

ADAM: Don't patronize me, Big Tony. What's the Problem?

INT DINER - MORNING

BIG TONY: Problem? Who said anything about a problem? I ain't got no problems. You? You're the one with problems. I know what's goin' on with you and Katie, Adam. Don't play dumb.

INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - MORNING

ADAM rolls his eyes.

BIG TONY (V/O) (CONTINUED): Look, I was just gonna say that if you still need a couple days, I can call Steve or somebody to cover your shift or something.

INT DINER - DAY

BIG TONY (CONTINUED): They're begging for the extra work, the way money's been lately, and I know you aren't doing your best right now. Hell, nobody is. The way crime's gettin' worse and worse every day, hell, LaTonya got mugged a few nights ago.

INT ADAM'S APARTMENT - MORNING

ADAM: LaTonya got mugged? Is she alright?

BIG TONY (V/O): Yeah, yeah, she's fine. Some hero guy swooped down and nearly killed all the muggers. They're all in the ICU now, the bastards.

ADAM: Swooped?

BIG TONY: Hey, don't ask me, man, that's what LaTonya said. She said he swooped down, like he was hidin' out on the roof or somethin'.

ADAM: Look, Big Tony, I'm fine. Things with me and Katie are pretty rough right now, but I need the money more than anything. I'll be there in about an hour.

INT DINER - MORNING

BIG TONY: Alright, pal, if you say so. But keep your head in the game today. I don't want you dropping no more hot food onto the customers' laps. Mr. Jones is still very upset about that.

ADAM: Yeah, I still feel bad about it. Tell him I'll make it up to him somehow... Tell him his hash browns are on me today.

BIG TONY leans over the counter, looking at an old man, Mr. Jones.

BIG TONY: Hey, Mr. Jones, Adam says the hash browns are on him today, how do you like that?

MR. JONES: Hash browns on him? Jesus, Tony, yesterday they were on me!

BIG TONY laughs.

BIG TONY: Alright, Adam, I'll see you here in a while.

EXT ADAM'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

ADAM is walking out the door in his work uniform. He opens the door to SCOOTER - a 13 year old ginger kid, scrawny, geeky, arms full of boxes.

ADAM: Woah, here kid, let me help you with those.

He takes a few of the boxes, very heavy, and puts them at the base of the stairs.

SCOOTER: Gee, thanks, mister! I didn't know how to open the door with all these boxes weighing me down.

ADAM: (struggling with heavy box) Jesus, kid, what's in these, exercise equipment?

SCOOTER: No, no, nothing like that... just... supplies.

ADAM looks a bit confused.

ADAM: Alright, sure thing, kid. Just make sure to take these things upstairs one at a time. I know for a fact Clovis the janitor doesn't want to have to clean up any blood or nothin'.

Now SCOOTER looks confused.

SCOOTER: Sure, mister. Good idea.

He starts to take one box upstairs. ADAM leaves the building and shuts the front door.

INT SCOOTER'S ROOM - DAY

The room is plastered with super hero posters, action figures, and now, a stack of boxes. SCOOTER rips the tape off one of them, opening it to reveal that it's packed full of old comic books.

He smiles and grabs one off the top of the stack, opens it and begins to read.

----

So that's it for that, pretty sweet, huh? Tell me if you like it, I'm going to try and get some sketches of the characters up later.

-Thorny